I went to bed the other night and woke up abruptly like I was having another episode of sadness and couldnt get back to sleep.
Without an opportunity to find space during the day I could feel the build up of tension and anxiety which started making me feel tired and quick tempered.
I went back to my meditational tool kit and did a 30 minute somatic (soma meaning body – very similar to a body scan) meditation, which I loved but couldn’t shift this tired and deeply emotional feeling I was having.
I knew that something had shifted subconsciously, and now I was becoming conscious of it. I continued to delve internally, just observing where this emotion was arising from, and watching how my body and thoughts reacted to it. Within these meditative states I kept asking myself, whats wrong, what can I do to help. . .
This feeling continued consciously for a couple of days, the meditation was taking the edge off of the anxiety, my darling daughter was teething, so I wasn’t getting the sleep I needed to help though.
Then, out of nowhere, in the noisiest place you could imagine, in a hall playing bingo with 350 adults and children, I asked myself again, what’s wrong. . . I had my answer. I did something last night that my past life ‘I’ never did. I started to teach people how to become part of the universal oneness. And then boom. The feeling, the tension, the sadness, the anger just lifted from me. It was amazing. It was like my body wanted me to understand just how big of a step that was in my own growth.
Just be aware of emotions that arise within you, keep with your regular meditation practice and keep asking yourself what is wrong and how can you help. Give yourself the space and the time to allow for the answer. It may not come immediately, if you are in that space to allow it though, it will come eventually. Understand that these reactions may not be because of something that has just happened. It may of happened a few days ago . . .